Fifty Shades of Franks

Barbarian Weekly Presents

Fifty Shades of Franks

Quincy Leachman, Joshua Kazakoff, Ian Field, Ryan Formosa

Table of Contents:

Page 2: Mythological Origins/Migration

Page 4: Franks and the Roman Empire

Page 6: Merovingian Franks

Page 7: Clovis I

Page 8: Merovingian Dominance of Gaul

Page 10: Gregory of Tours

Page 11: Religion

Page 12: Charles Martel

Page 13: Battle of Tours

Page 14: Carolingian Dynasty

Page 16: Charlemagne

Page 17: Holy Roman Emperor

Page 18: Saxon Campaigns

Page 19: Military

Page 20: Law/Government

Page 21: Art/Architecture

Page 22: Works Cited

Here we see the Franks forcing the Saxons to cut down a tree involved with pagan worship. We at Barbarian Weekly like to think

that the Franks proceeded to bath in the tears of the vanquished Saxons.

Mythological Origins:

The mythological origins of the Franks

are both intriguing and complex.

According to the Chronicle of Fredegar,

a seventh century compilation of

writings on events witnessed first hand

in Frankish Gaul. According to Fredegar,

the Franks could trace their lineage back

to the war in Troy and to those who

escaped the city after it fell. In fact,

according to the author, Priam appears

as the first king of the Franks (Wallace-

Hadrill, 1960). Up until the 1500s,

authors and historians widely

considered the Trojan origins of the

Franks to be the truth (Huppert, 1965),

so it appears that the legend first

designed as a propaganda tool to secure

the noble origin of the Merovingian

kings. As the story goes, Priam left Troy

and fled to Macedonia. From thence his

family was divided, with some going to

found Rome, others back to Asia Minor,

and a man named Francio building his

kingdom on the Rhine (Wallace-Hadrill,

1960). According to another story, the

men of Troy sailed with thousands of

soldiers from the Aegean to the Sea of

Azov, but were defeated in battle by

Romans and some ended up finding

their way to Germany. Regardless of

which story one believed, it seems clear

that the mythological roots of the

Franks helped secure the kings reign.

When youre descended from a guys who exited their burning city while carrying entire families in a manner that Hollywood has

emulated numerous times in the Die Hard franchise, you have a 96% chance of being crazy tough. Thats just science.

Franks and the Roman

Empire:

After migrating to Gaul, the Frankish

people split off into a number of

different factions, the two main ones

being the Salians and the Ripuarians.

While the Ripuarians became pillagers,

constantly at odds with the Roman

Empire, the Salians allied with the

Romans (Anderson, 1997). The Romans

settled the Salian Franks on the

boarders of their empire, using them as

a crucial defensive barrier. The Salians

were often recruited to fight in the

Roman army (Anderson 1997, p.136). In

fact, it can be argued that the continued

process of amalgamation with the

Romans shaped the Salian people

(Anderson 1997, p.136). Even the

leaders of the Salians were active

members of the Roman army. Examples

of this were Childeric I and Clovis I, the

founders of the Merovingian Empire.

Childeric and Clovis were both Roman

generals, and Frankish kings (Kortm,

2010b). After the fall of the Roman

Empire, the Merovingian Franks under

Clovis continued with a number of

Roman traditions. The most prominent

example of which is evident within the

military, where they continued to use a

number of Roman practices (Kortm,

2010b).

Unlike the haphazard tour routes selected by the other,

clearly less sophisticated, barbarian groups the Franks kept it

simple. Clearly they did their research, proving that not only

did the Franks have biceps the size of pot roasts and abs like

washboards, but minds that can quash the Sunday edition of

the NY times crossword in a matter of minutes.

Merovingian Franks:

The first sign of the Merovingian Franks

was predominately seen in the in the

latter half of the fifth century. The name

Merovingian is derived from the king of

the Salian Franks, Merovich. (Britannica

Online, 2012) There is not much known

about Merovich except he was the

father of Childeric I, who carried on the

Merovingian dynasty until his death in

481/482. Clovis I, son of Childeric I,

expanded the Frankish empire by

conquering nearby cities and tribes, and

united almost all of Gaul. (Britannica

Online, 2012) During the reign of Clovis,

he was one of the first to convert to

Christianity, which was a new religion at

this time. His death in 511 divided the

Frankish kingdom among his four sons

Theuderic I, Chlodomir, Childebert I and

Chlotar I. (Britannica Online, 2012) The

four brothers, despite their upsets,

managed to expand the Frankish empire

even further than their father. By the

latter half of the sixth century, Chlotar

was the last of the sons of Clovis, and

his death in 561 divided the kingdom

once again among his four sons,

Charibert I, Guntram, Sigebert, and

Chilperic I. (Britannica Online, 2012) The

Frankish empire, under the rule of these

four brothers, suffered extreme

hardship, and prompted a

reorganization of the Frankish

Kingdoms. Some regions merged with

different kingdoms, and some regions

were lost entirely. Despite this division,

in 613, Chlotar II, son of Chilperic I

united the kingdoms once again.

(Britannica Online, 2012) However,

some years later, after the death of

Dagobert I, the kingdom was yet again

divided. At this time, many of the kings

had to hand their power over to the

Mayors of the Palace, which were

mayors who supervised a number of

activities. (Britannica Online, 2012) The

soon gained more power and

responsibilities, which turned the

remaining Merovingian kings into

nothing more than puppets. In 750,

Childeric III was the last of the

Merovingian kings, and when Pippin III

the Short deposed him, he usurped the

throne for himself and thus established

the Carolingian dynasty. (Britannica

Online, 2012)

Clovis I:

Clovis the First was the founder of the

Merovingian Dynasty who united the

Franks under one ruler. He was a Salian

Frankish king born in the year 466

(Kortm, 2010a). Clovis, as well as his

father, Childeric I, served in the Roman

army as Generals, helping the Romans

protect their borders. At the age of only

sixteen, Clovis succeeded his father as

king of the Salians and Roman general

(Kortm, 2010a). After the fall of the

Roman Empire, Clovis began his

unification of the Frankish people and

the creation of the Merovingian

Kingdom (Kortm, 2010b). Clovis first

major victory came in 487 against

Syagrius, the last Roman official in Gaul

(Kortm, 2010a). Clovis was also the

first Frankish king to convert to

Christianity. His decision to be baptised

Catholic could be seen as strategic

(Kortm, 2010a). It was key in gaining

the support of the Gallo-Roman peoples

(Kortm, 2010a). Overall Clovis is best

known for uniting the Frankish tribes

under one ruler, conquering Gaul, and

the conversion to Christianity. Clovis

died on November 27th, 511 (Clovis I,

2012). After his death, his kingdom was

divided between his four sons (Clovis I,

2012). Clovis was buried next to St

Genevieve in the church of the Holy

Apostles, which he had built in Paris

(Clovis I, 2012).

With his ZZ Top-esque beard and the bone structure of a

male model, its safe to assume that if Clovis were alive

today he would be featured in Dos Equis commercials as the

most interesting man alive. Semi-reliable sources have

informed us Clovis favorite pastimes involved arm-wrestling

grizzly bears and bare-knuckle boxing dragons.

Merovingian Dominance of

Gaul:

Clovis I was predominately one of the

most influential rulers in Frankish

history and he transformed Frankish

society in ways other kings never could.

Primarily groups such as Romans, as

well as a large population of Visigoths

maintained Gaul. (Britannica Online,

2012) It was not until the latter half of

the fifth century that Clovis decided to

expand his empire and consume all of

Gaul. After defeating the last Roman

official, Syagrius, in the northern Gaul,

and the Visigoths in the southwestern

Gaul, Clovis was established as ruler of

nearly all the Roman Gaul. (Britannica

Online, 2012) During the occupation of

Gaul, Clovis drafted a new law called the

Salic law or Pactus Legis Salicae and was

the code of all Salian Franks. (Britannica

Online, 2012) This was a written code,

which combines customary law, Roman

written law, Christian ideals, and royal